My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
