Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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