after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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