I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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