i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
