It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
