Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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