No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
