I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
