i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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