Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
