why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
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As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
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btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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