His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
