Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
