Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
