yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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