when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
