are you so shy because you have an std?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
