They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
