i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
