I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
