Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
