the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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