So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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