Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I swear to god he's a one man village people.

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(850): View more from Florida

Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.

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(802): View more from Vermont

So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(316): View more from Kansas

I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"

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(+61): View more from Australia

The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.

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(561): View more from Florida

This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem

(1-561): View more from Florida

Gotta pay my student loans some way

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