this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.