it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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