Already got asked if we're dating
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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