Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
