so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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