Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

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  (212): Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles http://tfl.nu/ttbo
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (1044)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.

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  (319): I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners. http://tfl.nu/k7br
  Replies (79) Good night (2041) Bad night (7055)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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  (712): I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/ngoq
  Replies (10) Good night (4728) Bad night (1435)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  what the hell does that mean?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages

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  (208): dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here (1-208): what the hell does that mean? (208): nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages http://tfl.nu/of9o
  Replies (26) Good night (2699) Bad night (4072)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?

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  (910): So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal? http://tfl.nu/acjy
  Replies (12) Good night (4144) Bad night (1158)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.

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  (706): She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night. http://tfl.nu/uc8q
  Replies (5) Good night (7123) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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  (307): We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives. http://tfl.nu/qq5e
  Replies (22) Good night (4604) Bad night (950)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better

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  (419): I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better http://tfl.nu/bdvs
  Replies (3) Good night (2569) Bad night (704)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

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  (551): Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me http://tfl.nu/723s
  Replies (9) Good night (939) Bad night (1747)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.

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  (206): You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick. http://tfl.nu/hzir
  Replies (12) Good night (2552) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?

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  (410): My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/txqd
  Replies (1) Good night (974) Bad night (871)
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  (415): View more from California

  Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.

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  (415): Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity. http://tfl.nu/w288
  Replies (4) Good night (971) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.

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  (805): I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/lu11
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke

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  (724): i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke http://tfl.nu/zqlg
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (962)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass

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  (630): Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass http://tfl.nu/dssk
  Replies (4) Good night (577) Bad night (386)

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