Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think that's fair trade off

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  (910): He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj (910): I think that's fair trade off http://tfl.nu/hrzk
  Replies (50) Good night (3897) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.

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  (785): Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend. http://tfl.nu/tpw6
  Replies (26) Good night (846) Bad night (5671)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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  (510): I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend. http://tfl.nu/lprg
  Replies (10) Good night (5823) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church

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  (517): Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church http://tfl.nu/wqjh
  Replies (3) Good night (1010) Bad night (2927)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I would never do this in real life. It's only college.

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  (480): I would never do this in real life. It's only college. http://tfl.nu/l8vq
  Replies (4) Good night (2908) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol

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  (917): Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol http://tfl.nu/po2q
  Replies (4) Good night (745) Bad night (1536)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?

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  (215): Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch? http://tfl.nu/5ls9
  Replies (5) Good night (1182) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream

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  (828): Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream http://tfl.nu/n2ta
  Replies (13) Good night (2645) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.

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  (615): We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video. http://tfl.nu/j3gr
  Replies (3) Good night (1257) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.

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  (405): Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped. http://tfl.nu/kn7w
  Replies (5) Good night (1415) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.

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  (313): Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man. http://tfl.nu/vwyk
  Replies (6) Good night (988) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear to god those aren't related

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  (724): Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money (412): I swear to god those aren't related http://tfl.nu/w3tr
  Replies (2) Good night (815) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here

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  (831): Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here http://tfl.nu/u7a6
  Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome

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  (615): Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome http://tfl.nu/3imm
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today

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  (630): Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today http://tfl.nu/53sc
  Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (196)

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