Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
