idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
