fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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