I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize