I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
why is half of my head shaved?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize