I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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