walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
