Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
