i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'd cum for enchiladas.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
