It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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