hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
