dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
