Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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