i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
