Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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