he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
