Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
