I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
