I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
