I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
