Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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