When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize