Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
