"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I need to sanitize my soul.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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