im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
