i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My pussy is not your playground.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
