I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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