i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
