Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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