No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
