it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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