She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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