why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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