just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
