Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
