"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
