I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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